FAMILY IS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR SAFE HAVEN, BUT VERY OFTEN IT'S THE PLACE WHERE WE FIND THE DEEPEST HEARTACHE....
I grew up in a family where love was our sweetest Haven, be it around my Parents, Grandparents, Uncles, Aunts, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Nephews or Nieces and not forgetting close Friends too. Within that love and growing up with my family , I learnt that in a family you may get angry, you may shout at others and even say things that can hurt. But what makes people come together as family is understanding, love and trust, concern for each others happiness and making things right. A family is made by fights and by love.They are sewn together with the bond of love and trust. Just a smile on your loved ones face makes you forget all your worries and you forgive everything that was hurting. A family is made by people bonded by love and trust for each other. The only rock I know that stays steady and the only institution I know that works is the Family. But somehow, time, distance and the passing away of loved ones, do weaken the the pillars of love. A common family relationship problem is jealousy from other family members. Ego, jealousy, gossip, negative feelings, anger, resentment, can ruin friendships and put a wedge between family members. Do not fuel the fire for their gossip and negative talk. Family and all our interactions with them are supposed to be a blessing, but if you have a jealous family, you feel absolutely cursed. Sometimes family is the most cruelest form of love, for no one could hurt more than the people who created you. Family, love them or love them not, there's often a limit to what you can do with the difficult ones.
You are allowed to terminate your relationship with toxic family members, you are allowed to walk away from people who hurt you, you are allowed to be angry, selfish and unforgiving and you don't owe anyone an explanation for taking care of you. It's not that easy when there’s a lifetime of emotional investment involved, and spiritual principles you've been taught your whole life. It’s likely that any response will hurt, whether it’s walking away or fighting for the relationship.
There will always be those whose love and approval comes abundantly and easily. They’re the keepers. As for the others, if the fight leaves you bruised, you’d have to question whether the relationship is worth it. Just remember, Life is short and if you were upset with a family member and never spoke to them for the rest of your life, you're not only going to be tormented with guilt and anger, but you're likely going to regret it at their life's end. How sad would it be that you perpetuated a grudge and refused to forgive if they passed away tomorrow. If it was a parent or grandparent, wouldn’t you spend the rest of your life, after they’ve passed, regretting your decision not to talk to them? Won’t you feel guilty for not repairing the family bond and allowing for past wrongdoings to remain in the past? Life’s too short to carry grudges. You and the person who hurt you will eventually move on from earth. Why continue to allow the hurt and pain fester? FORGIVE to live without regrets. Forgiveness heals. When you forgive, your heart begins to heal. The pain, sorrow, guilt, and sadness begin to thaw in your heart. The wounds of the wrongdoing begin to heal and lead you back to a more joyful life. Forgiveness is like medicine. And therapy. And a heart song. When you forgive, you’re allowing for your life to rehabilitate and for you to move on. They’ve already hurt you once but why are you allowing the pain of the past to haunt you repeatedly? If you continue to replay the past hurt in your mind and allow your emotions to bubble up each time you replay the past, you’re giving the wrongdoer the opportunity to continue hurting you. When you forgive, you won’t have to be stuck in the past any longer. You’ll free yourself from the heavy feelings of anger and release the pain you’ve been holding in your heart. You preserve relationships with people who care about you most. No matter what happened, your family has known you your whole life and has your back.They’ll be there in the tough and rough times. Excuse their trespass now and they’ll hopefully be there for you in the future. While your friends may be there for you today, you never know about tomorrow. Nothing holds people together like a family bond so give your relatives the benefit of your forgiveness. Love them who hate them, they are still the attachments of your Heart.
~The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world~Marianne Williamson
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